


coming undone

by yadoiangel



Series: HQ x Taylor Swift Week 2020 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Confessions, Gen, HQSwiftWeek2020, M/M, Mentioned Kuroo Tetsurou, One-Sided Kuroo Tetsurou / Tsukishima Kei, One-Sided Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Pining Yamaguchi Tadashi, Rejection, Teen Angst, Tokyo Training Camp Arc (Haikyuu), TsukkiYamaWeek2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26172901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yadoiangel/pseuds/yadoiangel
Summary: Teen love is the sweetest there is; the rush of giddiness whenever you thought about a particular interaction with a particular person; the desire to stay around that person in hopes of feeling more of this feeling—it was really something...which is why when it's rejected, it's all the more painful.for HQ x TSwift Week 2020 and TsukkiYama Week 2020Day 1: Taylor Swift || Day 5: UnrequitedSong: Tied Together With a Smile
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: HQ x Taylor Swift Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900672
Kudos: 27
Collections: Haikyuu x Taylor Swift Week 2020, TsukkiYama Week 2020





	coming undone

**Author's Note:**

> A teaser for my HQ x TSwift entries, and by pure coincidence, this fit TsukkiYama week Day 5 prompts as well, so I combined them! (also you don't have to, but it's better if you listen to the [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/2zzxwmoOBnXDT0KnJsoIWk?si=JJuF05nLR-u2RQMPUkAFag) for maximum pain. :D)

Yamaguchi found Tsukishima sitting just outside the gym a long while after dinner, staring at nothing.

“Tsukki, there you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! How was the training tonight?” Yamaguchi asked the taller, forcing himself to be happy about the whole situation. He was pissed off about it, actually, and maybe a little depressed. The training camp started normally enough, and he thought it would end that way as well, but halfway through it he screamed at Tsukishima, and then shortly after that he started training with Bokuto-san, Kuroo-san, and Akaashi-san, and then that evolved to hanging out with them most of the remaining nights too. “It went okay. Hinata and Lev joined us for a three-on-three, and it was honestly nice. Tired me out, though,” Tsukishima answered with shrug.

“Nice? A practice match? Nice? Who are you and what have you done to my Tsukki?” Yamaguchi demanded jokingly.

“Shut up, Guchi,” Tsukishima replied with a happy laugh, making Yamaguchi pause and stare at the taller.

It wouldn’t have seemed so suspicious, but he knew his best friend. The Tsukishima he knew was rarely that elated about something, much less about a practice match with strangers he barely knew. That was when he decided to confront the blonde—and wished he didn’t immediately afterwards.

“What’s up with you, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi commented with a teasing smile, “Look at you, you’re smiling, and about a game,” he added. Tsukishima blushed, and that was when the sinking feeling in his stomach started.

“It’s nothing,” Tsukishima dismissed, not meeting his eyes.

“Nuh uh, you just blushed. What happened in that gym, huh?” Yamaguchi pushed, feeling his face starting to strain with the effort to keep up his smile.

“Shut up, Guchi, I mean it,” Tsukishima warned, but Yamaguchi could see he was holding back a smile himself.

“C’mon, what are you trying to hide? You’re practically bursting with the news! Why can’t you tell me, huh? I thought I was your best friend?” Yamaguchi needled, elbowing the taller playfully. He was pushed back, and Tsukishima laughed again.

It was a laugh Yamaguchi never heard before—it wasn’t sarcastic and it wasn’t held back. He laughed with his head thrown slightly back, with a genuine smile and wide eyes, as if he couldn’t believe the reason why he was laughing. It entranced Yamaguchi, and at the same time it filled him with dread—he knew he wasn’t the reason why Tsukishima was laughing like he was in love.

_Guess he ain't my Tsukki anymore, huh?_ Yamaguchi thought to himself.

“It’s just… Kuroo-san said something to me after the game,” Tsukishima told him after he calmed down, a small smile still on his face.

“What did he say?” Yamaguchi said, certain he didn’t want to know.

“He said I was their ‘golden one’,” Tsukishima confessed.

“What? That’s it?” Yamaguchi asked, trying not to show his dismay. He knew nicknames were Tsukishima’s weakness.

“Shut up, Guchi. You wouldn’t understand,” Tsukishima scoffed at him, now getting annoyed.

“Try me then,” Yamaguchi challenged, knowing exactly what Tsukishima meant. He felt the same when the taller first called him Guchi, after all.

“I… can’t even explain it,” Tsukishima chuckled to himself, “It’s just, there’s something about him,” he said breathlessly, and that’s when Yamaguchi identified the feeling in his stomach: it was fear.

He recognized the look Tsukishima had on now, too—the disbelieving expression, afraid to hope but hoping all the same; the rush of giddiness whenever he thought about a particular interaction with a particular person; the desire to stay around that person in hopes of feeling more of this feeling… it was the look of infatuation, Yamaguchi knew. It was the same look he had those few days after he realized he had a crush on his best friend.

“What are you gonna do about it, then?” Yamaguchi asked, genuinely curious.

“Nothing,” Tsukishima answered, looking at him like he was out of his mind.

“Why not?” he asked again with a frown.

“Why not? Guchi, have you seen the guy?” Tsukishima scoffed at him, looking out at the space in front of him, “He’s like this… this hot thing, but it’s not just that. He’s also genuinely helpful, and I’m willing to bet there’s a lot of people already wanting his attention here, he doesn’t need some random country bumpkin to be stupidly hanging out around him like some groupie,” he rambled, gesturing with his hands to show just how ridiculous the notion was.

“Okay, first of all,” Yamaguchi started, aiming for a light joking tone but even he could tell his voice had an edge to it, “You’re not, stupid. We’re in the same class and your ranking is higher than mine. I don’t call myself stupid, so stop calling yourself that too, please. Second, have you seen yourself?” Yamaguchi questioned, staring at Tsukishima, catching the way he ducked his head at the praise.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” he mumbled, jostling the shorter’s shoulder.

“No, I’m serious!” Yamaguchi laughingly said, jostling him right back, “You have your own share of groupies back home, you know,” he added.

“Oh god, don’t remind me,” Tsukishima groaned out at him, getting from their fallen pile of two.

“What I’m saying is you’re not bad yourself. I think you might even be on the same level as him,” Yamaguchi said with a roll of his eyes, also getting up, “If that’s the only thing holding you back, don’t let it. The training camp’s ending tomorrow. How about you shoot your shot huh?” he suggested with an insinuating smile.

“I said shut up,” Tsukishima turned away from here, starting the walk back to where they were sleeping.

“At least think about it!” Yamaguchi said, his voice bordering on a whine. He didn’t know who he was convincing, though.

“…I’ll think about it,” Tsukishima told him, a slight smile on his lips. That’s what solidified Yamaguchi’s dread. The two fell into a comfortable silence. Yamaguchi can’t help but berate himself for pushing Tsukishima towards… well, he wasn’t exactly sure what he pushed Tsukishima into doing, but it was something, and that something will most likely be to his heartbreak. Yamaguchi was actually planning on discouraging the blonde, but then Tsukishima went and did a very on-brand self-deprecation that he couldn’t help but build him up. It was stupid—pushing his crush best friend towards a stranger he’s obviously got something for, and Yamaguchi was confused what to hope for. Should he wish that things wouldn’t work out between Kuroo-san and Tsukki for his sake? Or that things would, for the same of Tsukki’s happiness?

* * *

Yamaguchi found Tsukishima once again sitting outside the gym, his back turned from everyone else.

“Tsukki! We’re almost ready to go, why are you sitting there?” Yamaguchi asked as he got closer. Tsukishima didn’t seem to hear him, so when he was close enough, Yamaguchi clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, didn’t you hear me?” he asked. Tsukishima was startled by that, and he looked up at Yamaguchi.

“What?” he asked, and while to a stranger it might be impassive, to Yamaguchi he saw his best friend was dejected.

“Everything alright? You disappeared after lunch so suddenly. What’d you do?” Yamaguchi asked with a tilt to his head. Once again, he was asking questions he didn’t want answers to.

“Oh, sorry about that. I just talked to Kuroo-san for a bit,” Tsukishima waved a dismissive hand, getting to his feet.

“And? What did he say?” Yamaguchi asked, trying to be excited for his friend.

“You ask about what he said without asking me what I said?” Tsukishima raised one brow at that, looking at Yamaguchi out of the corner of his eyes. To Yamaguchi, even that was brittle.

“I think I know why you wanted to talk to him,” Yamaguchi said in an insinuating tone, keeping the mood light.

Tsukishima laughed a dry little laugh that ended on a crack, and this was another laugh Yamaguchi hasn’t heard before either—it was so forced, and it was pitiful, and it was entirely everything opposite of what Yamaguchi knew of Tsukishima. It hurt to hear, and it made Yamaguchi think that that laugh was all his friend could do; that—or cry.

“Am I that obvious?” Tsukishima asked him with a smile.

“No, I’m just the guy you call your best friend, is all,” Yamaguchi said sarcastically, “So what’d he say?” he prodded.

“What I told you he’ll say,” Tsukishima said pointedly, “He wouldn’t want anything with an ‘unrefined country boy’ like me,” he added, quoting what Kuroo told him.

“That’s just stupid!” Yamaguchi said after a beat, shocked that the usually nice Nekoma Captain would say something so cruel.

“I told you so,” Tsukishima said, this time with a cruel smile at himself, “I shouldn’t have said anything,” he added under his breath.

“I ought to talk to that rooster,” Yamaguchi said to himself at the same time, going to break off from the taller to go towards where he knew Nekoma was packing up as well. He was stopped with Tsukishima pulling on his arm, though.

“Don’t cause me anymore embarrassment, Guchi,” Tsukishima said, “Besides, not everyone has the same taste as you,” he added, still smiling that self-deprecating smile.

“I’m sorry, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said meekly as they resumed their walk to the bus that would take them away from this place, and from the training camp—at least Tsukishima hoped it would.

“I’ll be fine, Guchi. Don’t worry about me,” the taller told him with a wide and bright and therefore an entirely fake smile.

“If you say so,” Yamaguchi answered with doubt.

He never expected to be on the receiving end of the blonde’s fake smiles, and it only added to his already guilty heart. As they walked back in silence, Yamaguchi thought despairingly of the irony of their situation: how his best friend was brave enough to confess only to be shot down, now coming undone beside him; and how he knew he’ll never be brave enough to do it, too afraid of the rejection. It was enough to put him in the same self-deprecating mood that Tsukishima was also in.

**Author's Note:**

> I only really planned this for HQxSwiftWeek, but it was perfect for TsukkiYamaWeek too, so I posted it early. Please tell me what you think on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/yadoiAnghel)!


End file.
